Signs of listening
Signs of a good listener:
- Says 'yes' to me: an open, accepting posture of heart.
- Is warm to me, is supportive.
- Listens to the silences, the growth gaps.
- Doesn't presume to have the full truth.
- Senses what I am feeling.
- Steps inside my situation, walks in my shoes.
- Reflects my thoughts and feelings.
- Receives me as I am, I do not feel judged.
- Allows me to stumble over my words.
- Puts aside their own concerns and needs for a while.
Signs of a poor listener:
- Interrupts my flow of speech or thinking.
- Changes the subject.
- Thinks of their reply while I am still speaking.
- Gives advice rather than sharing in a search for answers.
- Generalises by telling me that I am the same as everyone else.
- Jumps to conclusions and makes interpretations.
- Tries to 'fix' my problem.
- Moves mentally and emotionally outside my situation.
- Moves their hands, feet, or bodily position a lot.
- Says, 'The same thing happened to me'.
- Feels that they have to fill pauses or silences.
- Avoids my questions.
When I am listened to, extraordinary things happen: I come alive. Growth occurs. Walls disintegrate. I feel valued. I can feel and accept my differences and uniqueness. The healing process begins.
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Last modified: Friday, 7 April 2017, 2:12 PM