Correlates with p. 40 of the Participant workbook.

What is guilt?

• Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrongdoing, etc., whether real or imagined. 
  
• Guilt is a judgement—a feeling we've done something wrong, even if we're not responsible.  
  
• It can be a constructive feeling if it leads to mending damage done, but can be unproductive if the burden is taken on and isn't warranted. 
  

What is shame? 

• Shame is the standards we set for ourselves and our perception of ourselves. 
  
• Shame often shows when we think we have done something dishonourable, improper, ridiculous, etc. 
  
• The term covers both chronic ('I'm always a loser') and acute experiences of embarrassment, humiliation, and worthlessness. 
  
• Shame is an inward feeling that can become an all-encompassing judgement of self—'I am damaged goods', 'This is what I am', 'I am bad', 'I am shameful'.  This is in contrast to guilt, which involves a judgement of an action or actions— 'I've done something bad'. If a person sees or believes themselves 'to be shameful', then, when problems present, their whole being can be threatened, and they can become quickly overwhelmed. 
  

• Shame is developed in early childhood (by age 3-5). 
  
• Shame can exist before a child is verbal (thus hard to articulate).
  
• It is more arousing—a 'bigger feeling' than guilt. 
  
• Shame suggests something wrong with me (vs. something I have done wrong). 
  
• Shame provokes hiding (vs. making amends or reparations). 
  

Pathways of shame:  

Another way of understanding this concept is to understand how 'shame-prone' men cope with shame. The term shame-prone is used here given that the childhood abuse the men have experienced suggests that most, if not all, of the participants have experienced considerable shame in their lives.   

Download the PDF file: Presentation: Guilt & shame [ 165 Kb]